AcceptanceMy urologist, in N.Y. evaluated the results of the PSA test from an independent lab. The microscope slides were evaluated by medical personnel at a local hospital in N.Y.
I sat across from my doctor while he studied the combined results from all of these sources. He looked at me, in a quiet way, and said "You have prostate cancer". Not just a "few cells" but full blown prostate cancer. My world was instantly changed!!
With that statement I crossed a threshold which led to the need for many decisions, much study, a slow, arduous, and prolonged series of still more tests and probing by doctors and eventually what I considered to be the proper course of action for me.
However, far overshadowing the mechanics of treatment and the need to understanding the disease, was the emotional shock of coping with the fact that I had the dreaded disease CANCER and that it could kill me.
When I arrived home from my doctor's office I was at once confronted by my family. I told them I had cancer!!! "Do you really have it?" they asked - hoping that they had not heard correctly. "Yes, I have cancer!!!". I will never forget the look on their faces. One of crushing sadness and despair.
I did not hide my disease from my friends and business associates. Their reactions were universal. Sadness, and pity! "Enjoy your life!" I had a friend who lived five years with prostate cancer!"
"We will pray for you!" Suddenly people were looking at me in an entirely different way - a way I did not appreciate!
I was now entering a phase that all cancer patients must eventually face - "acceptance". This is a critical first step along the road to recovery. There were many sleepless nights and the thought of my disease literally wiped all other thoughts from my mind. The cancer was now the only thing of importance to me. Thoughts of it filled my every waking moment!!
December 21, 2015
July 25, 2016