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Types of Cancer > Lung Cancers > Mesothelioma > Support
Thoughts from a Mesothelioma Patient
Bill Duckett
Last Modified: November 1, 2001
After a couple of days I learned that there was some disagreement among the pathologists as to my diagnosis. One doctor thought it might be mesothelioma, so I was asked if I had a history of exposure to asbestos. I told him that I had been around a lot of it in my work in construction and as a salvager of obsolete chemical and refining facilities. He explained that mesothelioma was caused by exposure to asbestos. At this point I was told that only a few highly specialized cancer hospitals were able to effectively operate on and treat a case such as mine. M. D. Anderson hospital in Houston was one of these places, so I was admitted there. At Anderson the doctors opened me up, took a biopsy and ran a culture for two weeks. The test proved positive` and an operation was performed to remove as much of the cancer as possible. The operation took about six hours and I was in intensive care for four more days. The pain was intense and my recovery was very slow.
In September, after being in the hospital for fifty-seven straight days, I was discharged. I was in a weakened and very painful condition. Because I was living alone the doctors made arrangements to have a nurse from a home health nursing service visit me on a regular basis. Within a week I was able to drive to restaurants and to do other very basic tasks. Within two weeks I was able to take an out of town trip to visit friends. My nurse Marcia and I became close friends, began to date and were married in March of 1992.
After the operation an oncologist informed me that there was nothing else he could do except chemotherapy, which would only have a twenty to twenty-five percent chance of helping me. He also said it would be very difficult for me to handle living alone without help. I decided not to take the chemo and continued to go back to the hospital each three months for blood work, x-rays and a CAT scan. Each test showed just a little more growth of the cancer. It had spread into both lungs. At first the growth was slow but in the summer of 1992, the cancer was growing much faster. I was getting weaker, so in August I decided to take the chemo. The first round of chemo, which consisted of Cisplatin, Adriamycin and Cytoxan, made me sicker than I could ever remember. I wanted to stop the treatment and die, but the doctor said that once the chemo was started it could not be stopped or the cancer would return faster than ever. He said it would make the chemo seem like child's play by comparison. I've got a really good doctor. He is even a better salesman. Five weeks later I took my second round of chemo and, because the dosage was reduced, I took it a little better. Four weeks later I took the third round and it was even easier than the second. I did all right with the fourth and fifth rounds also, but when I took my test to see whether I was in condition to take round six, they discovered more fluid in the chest and that my condition had worsened. They informed me that the chemo had worked to help slow the growth in the beginning, but had now stopped working. I would never be able to take this type of chemo again. In a few days I was scheduled to have the fluid removed and to be tested to see if I was a candidate for some other protocol that they had to offer. In the meantime my appetite picked up, and I started to gain weight and I felt a lot better. When they checked me out on March 5, of 1993, the fluid had disappeared and I was feeling so good, it was decided to do nothing right then and to have me come back in two months.
I continued to gain strength and weight and when they tested me again in two months the x-rays showed no sign of cancer. The doctors then called my condition "stabilized." Each test after that was the same until February of 1994, when the x-rays showed some fluid in the left chest and some nodules on the right lung. I was given a CAT scan on April 6 and reported to my doctor the next day. He informed me that the cancer was growing again but this time more slowly. He suggested the drug Toxan for me and thought I should start immediately. Marcia and I had a lot of travel plans for the next several months, so I asked him if could safely delay this procedure until the middle of July. He agreed and scheduled me to come back in three months. In July the test indicated slow growth and I started treatment by a taxol and 10 edam protocol. I had bad side effects from the other chemo and I was worried about this one.
After a few months I am doing really well and have high hopes that the whole procedure will continue to work well. CT and x-ray test indicate that much of the cancer is shrinking, and the rest is stabilized. This protocol is experimental and there are no definite time limits set. My doctor wants to keep me on it as long as it continues to work well. The side effects have not been too bad with this protocol. The most significant side effects that I have suffered from these chemo treatments is loss of weight. I now weigh about 135 pounds and feel weak a lot of the time. My spirits remain good and I continue to practice prayer and meditation. For the present I have had to neglect my exercise and nutrition programs. I have received and continue to receive the best of medical care.
But that is not the full story. A friend was diagnosed with cancer a few months before I was diagnosed. In order to better understand his problem, I read several books that dealt with cancer. One of these books was "Love, Medicine, and Miracles," by Dr. Bernie Siegel. In his book, Dr. Siegel outlines some of the attitudes which patients develop who get well from seemingly incurable illnesses. I also read some books on death and dying and discovered that I agree with some of the writers who say that death is not necessarily a failure. My aim is to live each day to the fullest, whether it be one more day or thirty more years.
Another thing I did was to locate a cancer support group that was run along spiritual lines. Little did I realize that all of this was to save my own life later on. I attended the first meeting of this group a few weeks after I was diagnosed, not to find a way of getting well, but because I thought that I would get some comfort from being with others who had been diagnosed with cancer. I did find, and continue to get such comfort; but I have gotten many other things as well. In our group I met people with a positive attitude and an approach to health that was working for them. We talk about practical matters such as how best to interact with our medical care givers and to take responsibility for our own welfare. This meant that I should begin to question the kind of treatment that I receive and learn as much as possible about those procedures. Other matters that we discuss are proper nutrition, exercise, coping with pain, fear, resentments, and much more.
The founder and original leader of our group is Rosemary Ross. Rosemary had written a workbook, "Creative Living and Health" that serves as a format for our discussions. She also has made a tape with a message of hope and a suggested meditation that has been very beneficial to many of us, both in and out of our group.
I suffered from alcoholism for many years and nearly died from it in 1975. At that time I turned to a spiritual program for help. It was suggested that if I would take certain steps on a daily basis I would be given, by the grace of God, a daily reprieve from the horrors of alcoholism. It was suggested that I begin to live my life one day at a time. This meant that I would seek to live each day to the fullest, shutting out thoughts of the past and the future when those thoughts were inappropriate to the present. I had wasted a lot of my time and energy in remorse and guilt about things in my past, but had done nothing to amend those misdeeds. Likewise I had spent much time and energy worrying about what might happen to me in the future, yet not taking any action to prevent these things from happening. As a result of practicing these principles in my life, when the doctors gave me the "terminal cancer" diagnosis, I decided to put my uncertain future in God's hands and concentrate on living fully each day, one day at a time, accepting with gratitude all the help that was offered to me: spiritual as well as medical and physical. Alcoholism is a terminal illness. I consider each day that I have lived since June 20, 1975, to be a day of grace, over and above what I thought I deserved or expected.
I had never known what really good living was until 1975, when I began my new life, but the best and most meaningful days of my entire life have been lived since I was diagnosed with cancer. I have lived some very painful and difficult days since the diagnosis, but they have added meaning and purpose to my life. I was an agnostic prior to 1975, and if I believed in a God, I didn't like what I believed. I am not affiliated with any religious organization, but I have benefited by what religion has to offer and I try to see where religious people are right. Many of them prayed for me when I was very sick, and I believe their prayers are being answered.
Being diagnosed with mesothelioma and working for recovery from it has brought into my life many wonderful things. The most important thing is that I have more of an awareness of the presence of God, and his purposes for me in this life. Because of this my fear of death has been greatly diminished.
When I was diagnosed in April of 1990 I was put on disability retirement. I could never have visualized how much I would enjoy doing only those things that I really like to do. Retirement and the opportunities it has given me is wonderful..
I could not place a value on the love I feel for the people that are in my life as a result of being diagnosed with cancer. Being in love and loving someone may be different things, but I am experiencing both of those things with my wife, whom I would not have known except for cancer. I believe love to be a powerful healer. When I visited my support group for the first time, I discovered that being with people with a common problem removed many barriers that might have separated us before. I could feel closer to them than others I had known for years. I am a member of Anderson Network, an organization of current and former patients of Anderson cancer center. We try to help cancer patients by answering their questions and providing understanding when and where it is needed most. When I first called the Anderson Network hot-line I was connected with an Anderson networker who was a mesothelioma patient. We immediately became good friends. He put me in touch with others and I found the same camaraderie with some of them and their families.
Being able to share my experience, strength and hope with others has been one of the most important things that I have done to get healthy and to stay healthy. I am now in contact with a few others who are scattered over several states. We write to each other and talk on the phone occasionally. Once in a while I get to visit some of them. Books and tapes have been a big help to me. I would appreciate hearing from you. If you would be interested in corresponding with me or other cancer survivors, or if you would care to hear from others, then just let me know. I would also like to hear any comments you may have about the contents of this letter.
Best wishes for good health,
Bill Duckett
19710 Oak Green Ct.
Humble, Texas 77346
(713) 852-9612
I have always known that proper nutrition is important to good health. I learned in our cancer support group that certain foods have proven effective in preventing and reducing cancer. Group members suggested that I develop a plan for a nutritious diet, a plan that included less fats and sweets, and more fibrous foods such as grains, whole wheat and oatmeal. Barely cooked and raw vegetables are also important. I reduced the amount of red meat in my diet and concentrated on eating a wide variety of foods.
In Humble we are fortunate to have a variety of good restaurants, so we eat out often. This makes it entertaining and enjoyable to eat the kind of foods that tend to keep me in good health. The American Cancer Society and the American Cancer Institute both have some good pamphlets on nutrition. I have found good books on nutrition in the book stores also.
I learned that it was difficult to get enough nutrients from raw vegetables no matter how much I ate, and that canned or frozen juices lost their potency. My answer to this was to purchase a juicer. I blend together carrots, apples, celery, spinach, beets, tomatoes and other available vegetables and fruits. Later I located a restaurant that would prepare my juice for me. I now make a routine of first exercising, and then going by the cafe for my juice. Several of the cancer group members had gone to a nutritionist in order to get his recommendations about what to eat and what not to eat. After doing blood analysis and other tests, he suggested certain vitamin and mineral supplements. In the beginning I couldn't afford him, so I read some literature about my diet, and got Marcia (who used to own a health store) to recommend some vitamins and minerals for me to take on a daily basis. I also heard that aloe vera juice was good to help the body get rid of cancer, and I found a supply of it at Walmart for about eight dollars per gallon.
After seeing a special on T.V. about shark cartilage curing cancer in some cases, I read some literature about it and decided to give it a try. I now take it regularly. As with my exercise program and other routines, I must discipline myself to stay in action. I have grown complacent from time to time, but I have always returned to my routine. After my operation and during the time that I was taking chemotherapy, my appetite was greatly diminished. I then resorted to drinking several cans of a food supplement called Ensure. It can be found in most drug stores, grocery stores, and Walmart. Ensure contains all the nutrients necessary to keep one alive.
During these difficult times there would come to mind certain foods
that would sound good to me. Marcia would make an effort to get and
prepare those foods for me whether they were supposed to be healthy or
not. Improvement rather than perfection is my goal at this time. So
that's my nutrition program in a nutshell. I'm always open to new
suggestions and am constantly looking for likely improvements. Any
ideas that you have about nutrition would be of interest to me. In the
meantime, I'll continue seeking ways to strengthen the above outlined
formula.
For several years I had been walking about two miles per day. I found this exercise stimulating physically and mentally. In the fall of 1989 I began to tire easily and started to cut back on the distance I walked each day. I believe that this fatigue, and a loss of appetite and weight, were the first indications that I was getting sick.
After getting out of the hospital and attending a few meetings of my cancer support group, it was suggested that it would be helpful to do some exercises each day. I chose walking as my exercise and would walk as much as my strength would allow. It made me feel better and increased my appetite, thus helping me to keep my weight up.
Later I joined the President and First Lady health club, so I would have a good place to walk even in extreme weather conditions. It has turned out to be much more than that. I now use the stairmaster, bicycle machine and several other machines that help me to exercise my arms, back and the other parts of my body. After a minimum of thirty minutes of this activity I go to the steam room for ten minutes, then to the whirlpool hot tub for fifteen or twenty minutes.
As I mentioned before, I have a good cassette tape selection of talks by Bernie Siegel, Deepak Choppra, Wayne Dyer, Rosemary Ross and many others who talk about gaining and maintaining good health and well being. I listen to these tapes while I am exercising, and meditate on some of the ideas presented in them. I also do this while in the steam room and the hot tub.
When I first started using the exercise machines I was only able to go for two or three minutes on any of them. As I went along I increased the amount of time and the effort level on the machines. Today I can easily go for thirty minutes on the stairmaster at the two or three effort level and accomplish over two-hundred flights of stairs.
When traveling or at times when I cannot get to the gym, I usually find a good place to walk. I walk at a fast pace. It is necessary to stay moving for at least twenty minutes to get my heart rate up to the level that will do my body good. One of the members of our cancer support group is a trained therapist, and has taught me and others in the group some effective exercises that can be done anywhere and without equipment.
I feel so much better when I am doing my exercise routine on a regular
basis, but after I have been feeling really good for a long time, I
grow complacent and miss days. I must discipline myself daily to do
all of those things that keep me alive and in good health. I hope that
some of this may be of help to you in developing your own program. I'd
like to hear what you are doing for exercise, and perhaps together we
can improve the quality of our exercise programs.