Coping With Your Child's Cancer Diagnosis

A child being diagnosed with cancer is a life-changing event. It can bring about a range of emotions and feelings, including worry, anger, sadness, strength, hope, fear, nervousness, doubt, and guilt. These emotions and feelings are normal and to be expected at various points in the cancer journey.

Coping means successfully managing a difficult situation. You, your child, and your family will have good days and bad days. Trying to cope with your child's diagnosis and treatment plan will help you all adjust to life with and after cancer. Coping doesn't mean you have to "like it" or "accept" what is happening. It means how you are able to manage the stress of the situation.

Just as everyone's cancer diagnosis and treatment plan are unique, so are their reactions and methods for coping with it. Give yourself and your family permission to feel and experience these emotions, to talk about them, and to work through them. It is okay to feel distress, depression, anxiety, sadness, worry, nervousness, happiness, relief, hope, and any other emotion.

Suggestions for Coping with Cancer as a Family

• Get informed. Learn about your child's diagnosis, treatment, potential side effects, and the interventions available to support your child and family. Knowledge is power. Don't be afraid to ask questions and do your own research. 
• Research thoughtfully. The internet and AI tools can help you prepare questions and understand unfamiliar terms, but they aren't a substitute for your care team's guidance. Every child's situation is different in ways a general search can't capture. Use what you find to guide your conversations with providers, not to make decisions on your own.
• Stay active as a family. Light exercise is very helpful in relieving stress and combating cancer-related fatigue. You don't have to run a 5k or attend a 60-minute spin class. Even a short walk around the neighborhood can be energizing
• Avoid social isolation. While being alone can be restorative and meditative, it's important to stay connected with your support system, even if it's through a phone call, social media, or email. Friends and family who care about your child and your family are available to listen, hold your hand, cry with you, and laugh with you.
• Support your child's friendships. Your child's friends and peers will experience a wide range of reactions after hearing of their friend's cancer diagnosis. Your child may experience sadness, bullying, loneliness, and anger. They may also make new friends at their cancer treatment center or through support groups. Encourage your child to share their feelings about their friendships, to question why someone may be "afraid" of cancer, and to make new relationships.
• Be mindful of siblings. Siblings of pediatric cancer patients also need love, support, and guidance through this time. They can also be great sources of strength and assistance to the family unit.
• Consider integrative therapies to support your family's coping, including yoga, art therapy, pet therapy, music therapy, spiritual support, Reiki, meditation, and relaxation techniques.
• Tap into what's worked before. What helped your family cope with difficult experiences before your child was diagnosed with cancer? Identify the techniques your family used to manage other periods of stress and distress in your lives, and put those time-trusted techniques to use now.
• Care for yourself, just as you did before your child was diagnosed, eat well, get needed rest, and continue to exercise as you're able.

When You Need More Support

Coping with cancer is tough. If you are having a hard time managing your emotions, or if your family is having difficulty adjusting, talk to your healthcare team about how you're feeling. Ask your healthcare team, family, friends, and other support people for help when you need it. Don't hesitate to ask for a referral for counseling or therapy. A social worker or navigator can help you investigate your mental health benefits and identify practitioners within your insurance company's provider network. Don't forget to check whether your employer offers an Employee Assistance Program (EAP) as well.