Frequenty Asked Questions (FAQs) About Caregiving

Am I a caregiver?

If you help someone with their physical, emotional, or practical needs because of an illness, you are a caregiver. Many people don’t think of themselves that way. They see themselves as a spouse, child, partner, or friend. Caregivers can be family members, friends, neighbors, or members of a faith community, and many people share the role as a team.

What does a caregiver do?

It depends on what your loved one needs and what you’re comfortable doing. Common tasks include:

• Physical care: bathing, dressing, eating, moving, and giving medicine.
• Emotional support: companionship, listening, and being present.
• Practical help: rides to appointments, shopping, paying bills, managing insurance, and keeping track of medical information.
• Advocacy: speaking up for your loved one with the care team, and asking questions when something doesn’t seem right.

Why can caregiving feel so hard?

Caregiving can be exhausting, stressful, and lonely. It can test your body, your emotions, and your patience, and it can strain your finances. Your loved one’s needs may sometimes come before your own. At the same time, many caregivers find it meaningful: a chance to show love, grow closer, and give back. Both feelings can be true at once.

Do I have to do this?

No. Caregiving isn’t right for everyone, and it’s OK to say, “I can’t do this,” or “I can only do part of this.” Saying so is safer for you and your loved one than taking on more than you can handle. You may want to be their partner or child, not their nurse, and that’s OK.

How can my family share the work?

It takes a village. Sit down together and talk through:

• What kind of care is needed, and how often?
• Is 24-hour supervision or companionship needed?
• What can each of us do, and what can’t we do?
• What could we do with more support or teaching?
• How will we fill the gaps? Options include paid help, home health care, or a short- or long-term care facility.

Write the plan down, share it, and check in as needs change.

Can I get professional help at home?

Yes. Home health agencies can provide nursing, physical, occupational, and speech therapy, IV therapy, social work, and home health aides. Medicare and many insurance plans cover home health care when certain conditions are met, such as needing skilled care. A social worker can help you find agencies and check what’s covered.

Can I take time off work to be a caregiver?

You may be able to. The Family and Medical Leave Act (FMLA) lets many workers take up to 12 weeks of unpaid, job-protected leave a year to care for a spouse, child, or parent with a serious health condition. Some states also offer paid family leave. Ask your HR department what applies to you.

How do I know if I’m burning out?

Watch for exhaustion that doesn’t improve with rest, irritability, trouble sleeping, getting sick more often, pulling away from people and activities you enjoy, or feeling hopeless or resentful. These are signs you need more support, not signs that you’re failing. Talk with your own provider, a social worker, or a counselor.

How do I take care of myself?

Caring for yourself isn’t selfish. It’s what lets you keep going. Some things that help:

• Ask for help, and accept it. Give specific tasks to specific people.
• Set limits. Decide what you can and can’t do, and say so.
• Plan breaks. Respite care can give you a few hours or a few days off.
• Stay connected with friends, family, and the activities that matter to you.
• Find support. A caregiver support group or counselor can help you sort through what you’re feeling.
• Cover the basics: sleep, regular meals, movement, and your own medical care.

Caregiving is one of the hardest and most loving things you can do. It doesn't have to be perfect, and you don't have to do it alone. Reach out to your provider, social worker or support group if you need help and connection with others.