Value Your Own Story


I recently spoke with a group in Binghamton, NY about coping with and communicating about cancer. One attendee suggested that I add the importance of valuing our individual cancer stories.

What a terrific idea. Each person who’s been through cancer (either as a patient or a caretaker) has a unique story. For many of us, it’s the most challenging experience of our lives.

Bob Riter
Bob Riter

Her point was not that we need to always tell our stories, but that we should value these stories in our own hearts.

Getting a cancer diagnosis is the beginning of a sudden trip that no one wants to take. Few of us experience a graceful journey. We make mistakes, occasionally feel sorry for ourselves, and miss the more simple lives we had before cancer.

But we do the best that we can.

It’s sometimes too easy to judge ourselves on what we don’t have or what we haven’t accomplished. Anyone who’s had cancer or helped a loved one through cancer has accomplished something profound.

What’s more, everyone had to find his or her own way. You can’t just follow the path of someone else because every cancer and every situation is unique.

And I’m absolutely sure that this is equally true for individuals who struggle with other illnesses and challenges.

Our scars are a testament to our resiliency. As Leonard Cohen wrote, “There’s a crack in everything, that’s how the light gets in.”

On this Thanksgiving weekend, I am thankful for being surrounded by so much light.


Reprinted with permission of the Ithaca Journal.
Original publication date: November 26, 2016

Bob Riter is the Executive Director of the Cancer Resource Center of the Finger Lakes. He can be reached at [email protected]