The new me came into existence almost four years ago. The me after cancer. The warrior. The survivor.
People I have met since THAT DAY got the new version of me. The me that is grateful for every day of this life, and gives back. The me that wants life more than ever, and relishes every experience, including the ups and the downs (hopefully much less of the downs), since they all mean I am alive. The new me doesn’t hesitate to put her feelings out there, open and vulnerable, not afraid to be rejected. Realizing there isn’t a way to go back, or any ability to change the past, this new me chooses only to look forward. I sure wish I had this outlook the first half of my life.
This doesn’t mean that I don’t worry about the monster. That will always be present. But the new me has found a way to move on, to limit the wasted time thinking about “what if;” to avoid falling into that dark hole. One of the hardest things has been planning for the future. Four years into this new life, that is starting to happen.
I’m still getting to know the new me; after all, I’m only four years old!
And for those that knew me before cancer, I hope you’ll take a second look and get to know the new me too.
Sharon Civa , MBA, is an ovarian cancer survivor and information technology officer at Penn Medicine Radiation Oncology. She is an active volunteer for Hearts United Against Cancer and The Abramson Cancer Center. Sharon blogs about life after cancer.